November 16, 2021 | Sourced from WSJ by Elizabeth Bernstein

There's a special boost that only old friends can give us.

Here's how and why we need it now.

During the pandemic, Kevin Masters found himself longing for his old friend Ron.
The two men met in 1990, on a train from Indianapolis to Salt Lake City. In their 30s, they struck up a conversation while waiting in line in the snack car, then continued talking for hours. When they arrived in Utah, they exchanged numbers.

Over the few years, Kevin and Ron and their wives became close. They gathered for birthdays, ball games, shared meals and confidences and celebrated the arrival of their firstborns. And then their jobs took them to different cities. By the time the pandemic hit, they hadn't talked in about 24 years. Yet, Masters found himself thinking about his old friend a lot.

"The idea of reconnecting with someone who knew me when I was just starting out seemed like a powerful way to feel grounded," says Dr. Masters, who is now 63 years old and is a clinical health psychologist in Denver.

Missing old friends? You're not alone. People from the past can give us a sense of stability in turbulent times.

Psychological distress often causes nostalgia. People tend to experience this sentimental longing for the past when they are feeling sad, lonely, anxious, or disconnected when there is so much uncertainty.

Covid has come into our lives and caused a huge stir and disruption to our everyday lives. We have somewhat lost a sense of who we are. By recalling these cherished experiences from our past can remind us of who we want to be, who we want to be around, and what we feel is important in life.

Nostalgia increases positive mood, self-esteem, and self-confidence. It makes us feel more socially connected and optimistic. It helps us feel that life has more meaning, it is highly motivating, and pushes us to pursue goals and reconnects with people who were once important to us, and creates room for new relationships.

We can become nostalgic about any period in our life. It is common to feel a longing for our adolescence or early adulthood, likely because that's when we developed our sense of identity and forged our own relationships.

Most people feel nostalgic about social experiences, typically with friends or family. We may long for their support or feel like we can trust them. Old friends, especially ones from our youth, may also know our family. They are often people we believe truly understand who we are.