October 17, 2021 | By Andee Tagle & Claire Marie Schneider for NPR
Good time management begins with accepting your mortality.
It's not the only step in the process but of course, it is an essential element that many forget. In this day and age, we are accustomed to lightning-fast speeds and a constant bombardment of convenience, every life hack, and planning app makes us feel like we are being productive and on top of the world.
In reality, we can never get quite there. No matter what, time goes on, and sometimes, things just take the time that they need to take.
Oliver Burkeman's new book "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals", is about how and why we should reevaluate our relationship with time — beginning with the startling fact that we all have a time limit being here. The more actively we accept and embrace our time on earth, the easier it becomes to spend our time on what actually matters to us.
“Any degree to which you can see the truth that our time is limited, that we can’t do everything, that you can imagine far more goals than you could ever achieve but be okay with it, that is another degree you know you have taken ownership of your life and started to build a meaningful one.” ”
Are you holding yourself to, and judging yourself by standards of productivity or performance that are impossible to meet?
We obsess about the future, plan our days down to a t and schedule our calendars years ahead to try and seek a little more control over our lives.
"But you never really possess time in the way you might possess a dollar or a pair of shoes," says Burkeman. "You get a moment and then another moment, and it's the same for everybody else." We all get the same amount of time and it is up to you how you choose to spend it.
We must admit defeat and from there on, the pressures off on every level.
“When you get to the end of your life, the sum total of all things you paid attention to will have been your life.”
It's not about being good enough or applying enough self-discipline or finding the right technique. We are ultimately physical beings in a material world that are constrained in a million different ways. Perfection cannot really be achieved in reality.
Instead of wasting precious minutes on perfectionism at work or at home, it’s time to accept imperfections and the way things are. For example, rather than agonizing over choosing the best possible partner, overburdening ourselves to be the best worker, understand how time works and that your choices are limited in order to liberate yourself from unreachable high standards.
These days, when we are using so much technology, sometimes it can be so easy to go on autopilot. While technology can serve as comforts and a way of distraction such as social media and constantly watching things online, these things do affect your attention span and your life.
"When you get to the end of your life, the sum total of all things you paid attention to will have been your life," he says.
Think about all the people and things you consider most important in your life -- your friends, your interests, your hobbies. Then, think about who and what you actually spend your time on.
Over time, our attention "just adds up to a life," he says. It's important to make sure you're spending your time and energy wisely. The commodification of time makes us feel like we are always never doing enough. There is an existential feeling of a "productivity debt' which is problematic, but there's a lot you can do instead of beating yourself up for not being your idealized self. Instead of constantly feeling bad about yourself when you fail to do an impossible amount of tasks, give yourself some conscious grace and room for other things in your life.
Are the lists the same? Are you using all your brainpower at the office and checking out as soon as you get home? Do you keep putting off learning to play new songs because social media won't stop calling you?
A "done list" is a great way to help shift your daily perspective. Rather than a to-do list, which will almost certainly make you feel pressured throughout the day to get things done. It's also important to also count basic things that you've been able to accomplish such as brushing your teeth, making your bed, cleaning the dishes, and so forth.
Oftentimes, we put our heads down in the present to work toward some great end goal or some future legacy, says Burkeman. But the expense of enjoying the time is in front of us — and that is what we need to try and learn to enjoy.
“The shift from planning your day with a sort of desperately anxious need for the day to turn out that way versus just planning your day,” ”
Time is never guaranteed and whatever you do within that time, be it the greatest of legacies or the greatest of mistakes- will eventually be wiped away in the ebb and flow of history. It's only this time, right this very second, that we need it to count.
